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This year has had its ups and downs and I am grateful for its steady upward climb, especially towards the end. So, to all of you out there on Deviant Art, happy new year! Here's to happiness, health, and beautiful creations in 2011!

  • Listening to: Dave Matthews Band
  • Reading: Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld
  • Watching: My children play
  • Playing: World of Warcraft Cataclysm
  • Eating: Pizza and New Year's eve snacks :yummy:
  • Drinking: Raspberry Dark Chocolate Cocoa


Journal Entry: Sun Apr 11, 2010, 10:17 PM

Someday everything will be exactly as it was always meant to be.


  • Listening to: Michael Bouble'
  • Reading: Silver Bourne by Patricia Briggs
  • Watching: My weight
  • Playing: Castle Age on FaceBook
  • Eating: Bread
  • Drinking: Ice water

A Brave New World

Wed Apr 7, 2010, 1:16 PM

.: Purple Lights

The inevitable crossroads. Sometimes we skip across merrily, blindly, and without regard for all consequences. Sometimes we sit down and over-calculate every scenario, possibly impeding the actions of others and pissing them off. We sometimes cross cautiously, eyes wide open, and with confidence. And unfortunately sometimes we just sit down, paralized with fear of the future.

Someone tells us that things are better on the other side of the road, but we can't see it for ourselves. Do we take the leap of faith and cross, or do we retreat until we have concrete proof?

Is it REALLY greener? Do they know because they've been there? Are they screwing with you to see how far they can push? Are they actually colorblind and need you to take the leap for them so they can have peace in your discovery?

Once you go can you ever come back?

Apparently, the crossroads arebaout faith and trust. And apparently without them, we have no progression. So here's to trust... as elusive as she may sometimes be....

  • Listening to: The Resistance by MUSE
  • Reading: Silver Bourne by Patricia Briggs
  • Watching: My weight
  • Playing: Castle Age on FaceBook
  • Eating: Tortilla Soup
  • Drinking: Ice water
In the few short weeks of this beautiful new year, I have been overwhelmingly blessed! I have paintings in a 6 week art show, and am preparing for a show in a few short weeks from now. I am also going to be in the store hosting the show for a further three months after that. IT IS AMAZING!!!! And definitely keeps me very busy.

I'm taking a full workload this semester at school, and whoo-boy that keeps me on my toes as well. take that, add a dash of two of the world's best kids, and a pinch of insomnia, and you have my life for the nest 5 months! Hahahahahahaha! What have i gotten myself into this time!?!?!?! :)

  • Listening to: Big Whiskey & the GruGrux King, Dave Matthews
  • Reading: Harmony's Way by Lora Leigh
  • Watching: My son play with trains
  • Playing: The piano
  • Eating: humble pie
  • Drinking: Sonice ROUTE 44 Cherry Dr. pepper
This time of year brings snow to some, others just get a cooler drop in the temperature outside. I have have family in the eastern US that have already gotten snow... While we here in good ol' AZ are barely hitting 40 degrees outside. I'll admit it, I am completely green with envy of my loved ones back east... or would that be white since it's snow. Hmmm... all I know is that I would love to have white Christmases instead of brown. Blech! X_X

Well, my tree is up and decorated, there are gifts under it already from family, and we have been crankin' the Christmas tunes on the radio. It's exciting to see my children light up when they get ready for the holidays, donating toys to charities, and eagerly anticipating Santa's arrival Christmas Eve. I love Christmas so much, especially sharing it with the one's I hold most dear. I feel so sad though thinking about those that I can't spend this most precious time of year. People whom I love dearly, and just won't get to see. Such a bummer :(

Well, looking at the brightest side of things, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice, or just a happy winter!

  • Listening to: Christmas Jazz
  • Reading: Bite Marks by Jennifer Rardin
  • Watching: time fly
  • Playing: Castle Age
  • Eating: humble pie
  • Drinking: Good ol' H2O
too many questions
not enough answers
not enough time
too many things to do
going crazy
   thinking about the things I'll always need
finding solice
   thinking about the things we'll never have
wishing for you
crying for me
mourning for all that are gone
a party for all the new ones to come
Your arms around me
   thinking about the grocery store
My arms around you
   thinking that you're getting bored
  • Listening to: Alexandre Desplat
  • Reading: A Crown of Thorns by George R.R. Martin
  • Watching: NCIS
  • Playing: Scrabble Rack Attack
  • Eating: nothing, i got really fat!
So many days I feel completely alone. Like those who have professed their undying love for me are merely putting it on for show. That I will put all of my faith and trust into them, just to have it ripped away again like has happened so many times before. Leaving me stripped, beaten, and raw. Feeling like a terrified child desperate for acceptance and love, but too afraid to venture out of the dark corner I've been forced to stay in indefinitely.
So many days I feel as though I am completely hollow. That the wind rushed right through me, stealing all warmth, extinguishing all light. Where my heart should be beating and breathing vitality into my body, there is an abyss of sorrow and pain. Pain that is recent, and pain from very long ago. I find myself crying as though doing so will end my suffering, but it only causes more doubt and regret. My empty body and I are in an uphill, frozen battle against ourselves, praying that the light will come. That we will again find joy, peace, and the possibilities we are are all so entitled to.
Will it get better or willl it always stay this way? In the unending circle of misery and doubt?
  • Listening to: Vivaldi
  • Reading: A Crown of Thorns by George R.R. Martin
  • Watching: time pass
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Ice Water
wishing i were somewhere else...
  • Listening to: E.S. posthumus
  • Reading: Fevre Dream by R.R. martin
  • Drinking: Ice Water
I've been feeling a little blue lately. Things have been hard. Life has been hard. At least when all is said and done, at least I have my art to keep me company. I've got a bunch of stuff to post, hopefully I'll get the all done today, wish me luck!
  • Listening to: Paramore
  • Reading: Bite Marks by Jennifer Rardin
  • Playing: FarmVille in Facebook
  • Eating: Bran Flakes
  • Drinking: Ice Water
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who feels like crap when everything is going so well. Which is just all in all ludacrus, am I right? Oh well. Here's to another day of having it all, and wanting only some of it....
  • Listening to: E.S Posthumus
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
I've never written in my DA journal so today is a first for me! The most recent things I've posted on here I'm actually working on for two Boutiques that are coming up. If they go well, i will be submitting my work for some art shows. A little nerve racking, being a first timer and all, but Thrilling at the same time. The best part is that this is only a TINY sampling of everything else I've got going on! Pavilions, headboards, adult size dress forms, tutu's, vintage styled couture wedding gowns, mirrors, sconces, magnet, of course more paintings, ceramics, etc. SO MUCH TO DO & SO LITTLE TIME!!!! Hahahahaha! I'm having the time of my life!

Hoping life is good for you all too!
  • Listening to: Alan Silvestri
  • Reading: The Darkest Pleasure by Gena Showalter
  • Watching: My kids destroy the house
  • Playing: Bubble Town on MSN
  • Eating: PB & J!
  • Drinking: Cherry Dr. Pepper over Sonic ice!